


Please...

by PastaLeaf



Series: Haunting Memories... [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Gore, Dead Marco Bott, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, POV Jean Kirstein
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 11:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8160151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaLeaf/pseuds/PastaLeaf
Summary: The smell of decay and burning that fills the air makes Jean positively sick to his stomach. He just wishes he could get out of here and be with Marco.





	

**Author's Note:**

> JeanMarco always hits me right in my Kokoro I swear... :')

The smell of decay and burning that fills the air makes Jean positively sick to his stomach. He just wishes he could get out of here and be with Marco. 

He seriously could use a hug and a kiss from his boyfriend right now. After the all the mangled bodies of mothers and children he's seen today. He just needs a mental break right now to be able to just sink down next to Marco on a mattress and kiss him. 

Man what he wouldn't give to give that boy a big old smooch right now. Hell he'd even be willing to do it infront of everyone and deal with Eren's teasing just to see a cute blush on Marco's cheeks. 

Jean couldn't help it he began to laugh. He knew Marco was innocent but he didn't know how innocent to the point where he didn't even know what a blowjob was till Jean had to explain it to him though demonstration. Or the way he'd blush when Jean would whisper dirty words of sneaking out of the barracks and meeting up outside for some late night fun. Or the fact he'd blush all the way down to his thighs. 

Jean was seriously reconsidering turning the kiss and snuggle into something more devious. 

Or maybe they could sneak into the kitchen like they did that one night and Marco could make some of his Mama Marco's famous spaghetti. Jean would kill right now for some spaghetti. 

Honestly he would kill to be anywhere but here right now surrounded by death and sadness. He could hear the wails of the people over there loved ones that they had lost. Jean didn't envy them and their pain, he didn't know what he would do if he lost him. That's why he convinced him to join the military police with him to keep Marco safe and sound from harm and the monsters outside the walls. 

That's when he saw him...

He was sure he had to be mistaken there was no way no fucking way... 

Those weren't his freckles...

That wasn't his haircut.... 

That wasn't him with his brain and organs falling out one side of his body...

Maggots weren't eating him... 

His flesh wasn't rotting and smelling of decay... 

There was no way no fucking way that was him it couldn't be... 

He promised... 

He fucking promised... 

Jean fought the bile rising out of his mouth, and choked back his tears and whispered out in a voice he didn't even recognize as his own. 

"You're...Marco...?" 

Then it hit him like an injection of ice though his veins. 

Marco...  
Marco...!  
MARCO! 

This was him he was here. 

He could hear his voice teasing him now. 

This was a joke. 

Marco was going to stand up any minute and laugh saying. 

"Haha I got you Jean." 

Jean dropped to his knees scrambling over to his corpse placing his fingers to the neck of what was once held the life he held so dear. 

No pulse... 

"Marco please God No!" 

Jean couldn't help himself anymore he lost it clutching onto the body that once held life. Allowing himself to be covered in blood and gore. 

He knew this was all his fault. 

How could he do this to Marco his Marco?

They were supposed to get out of here. 

Become great military police men. 

Get married and have kids possibly. 

But Jean ruined it. 

He fucked everything he let Marco die. 

God why was this happening? 

Why him?

Jean never had been religious nor prayed in his life before but right now he begged and pleaded for God to take him. 

Take him instead of Marco. 

To bring Marco back. 

"Please God don't do this to him please!" Jean began to scream frantic. 

Though it proved futile as Marco's intestines dropped onto his legs covering them in gore. And bits and chunks of his brain fell onto Jean's shoulder. 

Jean couldn't control it anymore he began to scream as if dying in pain and he clutched Marco tighter sobs erupting from his throat. 

Marco he killed Marco. 

This was his fault. 

He'd never get to tell him how much he loved him ever again. 

Never get to hold him...

Kiss him... 

Hear his voice... 

All because he wasn't there to save him. 

He feels the arms begin to rip him away from Marco telling him. 

"Son he's gone." 

And he lets them. 

He doesn't deserve to even hold Marco. 

To look at him. 

After what he's done. 

He's gone. 

 

Is all Jean can think as he falls to the ground in a heap of sobs and gags. 

As the contents of his stomach pour into the concrete below and onto his pants staining them further. 

He doesn't care how much his body hurts right now. 

Or how his knees are screaming from falling to the ground. 

Because Marco's dead. 

And it's all... 

"My fault."


End file.
